Snooker’s Room 101
The original Room 101 was a torture chamber in George Orwell’s dystopian novel Nineteen Eighty Four said to contain the ‘worst thing in the world’.
If you could banish one thing from existence by putting it into Room 101, what would it be? We asked a few snooker players the same question…
Incompetent Travellers In Airport Security Lines
“There are always clear instructions to take your belt off, get your iPad out, get all of your change out of your pocket, remove your watch, your scarf, your mittens, your four hoodies and your jacket. Take them all off and get ready. The people who don’t do that should have their own line. Have they travelled before? If the answer is no, then they should have to get into a separate line. There should be a queue specifically for people who fly 15 times a year, know what they are doing and are capable of putting things into a tray.”
Snooker Chalk Pouches
“There are perfectly good pockets on your trousers. Mark Selby should have the English Open trophy taken away from him because he wore a pouch. There’s nothing wrong with the pockets on your trousers. Have you ever seen a pair of trousers that doesn’t have pockets? The only thing that is worse than a chalk pouch is a magnetic chalk clip, but that is the only thing.
Grown Men Who Support Non Local Football Teams
“For instance, Manchester United supporters from Essex. I hate that. It does my head in. If you are over the age of 15 and you do that, then all of your football opinions are worthless. I’m not really a big fan of tribalism, but when it comes to football, your team choses you. When I go to watch Nottingham Forest, most of the people are from Nottingham. Everyone there loves football, they need to support a team and the one local to them is Forest. If they do have any success you can celebrate it with your local community and enjoy it. I have a friend who goes to a lot of Liverpool games and he is from Derby. For a home game he has to leave at six in the morning. That is no good. I can leave at about 2 o’clock and then grab a pie. The one thing in common with Forest is everyone is from Nottingham.”
“I hate the cold. It is just horrible isn’t it? You need to wear loads of clothes and it isn’t comfortable. There is nothing better than being able to go outside with your shorts and your flip flops on. When it’s cold your fingers hurt and your toes hurt. No matter how many layers you have on you still feel cold. Getting out of the shower in the cold is just the worst. Getting out of bed is the same. When it is warm weather you can just do what you want and have a nice time. Everything seems more pleasant. Nobody wants to go outside in the cold.”
“They just keep shouting and balling all of the time. It annoys me. Calm down. If I go for a pint, I go on a Monday or a Tuesday. I don’t like the way on a Friday or a Saturday, it’s as if people have been given license to get all excited. It is the same as any other day. There is no difference. When the clock strikes five o’clock everybody goes mad. That’s why I wouldn’t go to football again. There’s too many people and it’s too noisy. I used to go in the 1990s when Celtic were rubbish. I used to go in the away end when they were playing teams like Hibs or Dundee United, because there was nobody in it. Then you basically got a Bovril stall to yourself.”
Phones In Restaurants
“These people don’t talk to each other. They are on Facebook, Twitter or something else. They just aren’t conversing. That bugs me. Phones should be banned from the dinner table. Nowadays some people spend most of their life on social media rather than talking to others. So when it comes to actually having a discussion, they don’t know what to say. With the younger generation all they are doing is texting and group chats. I think on the social side of things they are going to struggle. I reckon people even have relationships through text messages now rather than actually seeing each other. It is just mad.”
Mobile Phone Signal Failure
“Call failure is the most annoying thing in the world and you are paying £50 a month for it. You go through China at 300mph on a bullet train and you have full connectivity. You are going through places that people have never even set foot in, and you have 4G. Britain is so far behind in terms of technology it isn’t even true. The amount of time you just lose signal and the call drops out is barbaric. How can you lose signal in this day and age? The loss of signal on a day to day basis is a joke. I have to start off every single phone call by saying I might have to ring you back because the signal is bad. You can be on hold for an important phone call and then the line cuts out. It happens to me all of the time.”
“I’m alright with people who in day to day life will tell a white lie, or joke about. I am talking about serious situations with things that are important to people. If everybody just told the truth and got on with things, I think the world would be a much better place. People need to stop taking offence so easily with things. I think that is part of the problem. I want to rule out anybody that tells lies in any sort of important situation and if there is any offence caused, don’t take it to heart. It just makes everything a lot harder. When you are under stressful circumstances and you want to get stuff done, people just don’t want to tell you the truth for some reason. You never find out what is really going on. I get a lot more upset if I get incorrect information.”